WTF IS GOING ON WITH MISS SPEARS Y'ALL?

Before we start the hate we wanna say that we do genuinely like Britney Spears cause even though the bitch ain't talented, she's always been a grafter and had that likable appeal. The pop star was papped grabbing lunch in Las Vegas recently during rehearsals for her new show and as always something just looked off about her. Britters looks so much older than her 32 years and lately looks like a barmaid in her 40s who's had too much cock. Furthermore the accelerated aging process that she seems to be enduring won't do her career any favors, but let's face it that's headed for the toilet anyway. On a more positive note at least she's having salad and juice for lunch and not a fucking Frappuccino.

[Image via BROAD]

THE DIVINE MISS M HAS GOT ONE BIG RACK!

Now you just gotta love Bette Midler cause the fag hag is totes hilare, but the other day the poor bitch went swimming whilst on vacay and wore THE most unflattering bathing suit. The all round talent was seen splashing around in the ocean and according to sources even the dolphins were getting hard at the sight of her fuck off erect nips. For a bird that's almost 70 years old she is packing some serious knockers. We are totes thinking that Wind Beneath My Tits is way more appropriate after seeing this...we love you Bette!

[Image via SPLASH]

LIFE IS A BUTTERS CABARET DARLING!

Liza Minnelli has got one of those faces that just doesn't look good period. It don't matter if you slap it up with 3 inches of warpaint or go bare, it's gonna look rough as fucking shite. The legendary fag hag was snapped leaving an NYC eatery during the week and according to sources a couple paparazzi photographers screamed and fainted in shock. Maybe if she lost the rank eyebrows, stopped with the surgery, changed that fucking dyke mullet hair and got her teeth whitened, we could be persuaded to write something nice. Surely she knows our approval means more than winning a Tony award?

[Image via FLYNET]

ARE YOU IN THERE SOMEWHERE XTINA?

Okay so we know we're showing Xtina major love at the moment but talk about wowza! Bitch wasn't messing around during a recent photo call to promote the new season of The Voice and we're kinda shocked to be honest cause we never actually thought she'd put down the fries. Christina Aguilera was papped walking the red carpet with her fellow judges to announce the new season which kicks off in September and lady literally looked like a shadow of her former self. We can't get over those razor sharp cheekbones and that itty bitty waist. Seriously stay on the diet cause it's paying off Xtina. We are however slightly concerned that she's only 5'1'' yet Cee Lo Green (who's a man) doesn't seem that much taller.

[Image via NBC]

EVEN WE DON'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT XTINA!

Okay so hell must've just frozen over cause Christina Aguilera was seen out again (yes again) looking totes amaze balls! The talented coach of The Voice was seen out shopping in West Hollywood with that guy who's living off her (Matt something) and bitch looked pretty damn good. The whale thighs are slowly shrinking and according to sources she's now able to paint her own toe nails for the first time in years...hoorah! All jokes aside though, lady is getting her shit together and buying clothes in the right size and we'd like to think it's cause she reads The Sizzling Mess.

[Image via XPOSURE]

THE AWARD FOR UGLIEST COUPLE GOES TO...

Beth Ditto is kinda cool in the way that she really doesn't give a shit about fashion or having a healthy heart, but on the other hand she's just an obese pig. The lead singer of Gossip was seen attending some shit event with an Asian queen for a date and the pair of them looked truly butters. If you look too closely it looks like he's gonna eat you and we don't understand why Valentino agreed to dress Beth unless she paid for the shoes herself. Is it just us or do you think Jessie J would look like this if she was obese too?

[Image via GOFF]

WE'RE GONNA HOLD THIS AGAINST YOU

Whatever happened to Britney Spears bless her? She used to look so good and her body was shit hot back in the day, but since shitting out a couple kids all she seems to do is release filler albums and eat junk food? The past-it hit maker was seen grabbing coffee and donuts (shocker) and wearing a truly horrendous outfit whilst strolling around her neighborhood the other day. We still don't get that with all her dough she can't afford decent hair extensions? Just sayin'.

[Image via TMZ]

TRUE COLORS CAN'T SHINE THROUGH THIS

Good old Cyndi Lauper is obviously a lotta fun, but bitch looked like an extra from the Addams family the other day when it stepped out for a charity event. The fag icon was papped rocking some fugly ass clown slap and can you all notice those lovely jowls that come with age? She's had a good run bless her but now it just looks scary.

[Image via FILM MAGIC]

FOR ONCE VICKY B GETS IT SO WRONG

It may happen once in a blue moon but Victoria Beckham stepped out looking not so great recently. The fashion "designer" was seen strolling around London in a jacket made of hot air balloons and a pair of jeans that did her match stick pins NO favors whatsoever. To finish off this fashion fail look her feet looked like they belonged to Coco The Clown rather than an international fashion icon. Better luck next time hey Vicky!

[Image via SPLASH]

THOSE BEAUTIFUL LYRICS ARE JUST LIES...

Christina Aguilera clearly doesn't own any mirrors cause bitch has full on PILED it on these past few years and nothing is changing for the better. The diva bitch singer was seen en route to lunch (shocker) in LA recently and even her dog was pictured gagging whilst watching the whale walk away. We really don't know what's going on in Xtina's head, but bitch really needs to get her jaw wired up pronto and hit the gym cause when you're not relevant and morbidly obese you've gotta work extra hard to make those sales. Just sayin'.

[Image via X17]

LOOKS LIKE A FLOP ALBUM TAKE IT'S TOLL

Poor old (more like ancient) Madonna just can't catch a break these days cause on top of having a flop album and a flop movie, she was snapped recently walking around NYC and looked like a fucking freak. The religious whore decided to wear a tracksuit complete with brogues, a puffer jacket and a beanie hat resembling pig ears. Now we're not if she wanted to look like a twat, but it's safe to say that she succeeded if this was her intention. Just sayin'.

[Image via INF]

VIVA LAS GAYGAS WOULD NOT APPROVE

Okay so we get that insulting the great and powerful fag hag Bette Midler is kinda like speaking ill of Jesus, but no matter how great this bitch is she did not look good at a recent movie premiere. The campy icon was papped walking the red carpet and if we're honest it looked like another case of a stylist holding a grudge, cause Bette was wearing black leather pants, a pink chiffon scarf and a fugly brown velvet coat. Can we also mention that this was in LA where it's been like 70 degrees lately so what's with the coat? Granted it's not the worst thing on here, but when you're a legend you need to dress like one and not a pigeon lady.

[Image via GETTY]

OVER THE HILL CHEERLEADER MUCH?

It must be kinda embarrassing to have your mom run around in tiny outfits looking like a desperate high school cheerleader, so we can honestly say that we fully empathize with Madonna's poor daughter Lourdes. The famous fag hag was seen performing in Italy recently and let's just say that all we can see from the above photo it desperate old slapper. Speaking of Lourdes, we wonder when Madge will get her eyebrows waxed?

[Image via REUTERS]

SHOW US YOUR JAZZ HANDS LIZA!

Life is apparently still like a cabaret for Liza Minnelli as the elderly fag hag was recently papped walking through the airport in LA and she just couldn't resist a little dance. It's a shame that she's become such a hot mess lately cause she looked more like a fucking clown with a bad hip, as opposed to the award winning gay icon that she (apparently) is to her fans. You know that her bodyguard is thinking please Liza just keep your shit together and don't show me up.

[Image via SPLASH]

KEEP YOUR BODY COVERED UP HONEY

 

Oh dear. Just when we thought Christina Aguilera was finally looking good, she goes and robs another make-up store. The talented singer (diva pig) was papped out to dinner with her boyfriend recently and her lovely skin tight leggings made an appearance once again. Now this isn't the worst we've seen from her, but we just wish she'd try and move away from this trashy dwarf look that she's got going on. It's such a shame cause it can belt like a cunt, but we don't wanna see this mess bouncing around in a music video that's for sure.

[Image via NPG]

HAS IT BEEN EATING THE MEAT DRESS?

Lady GaGa has always been known for her slender frame, so the singer shocked fans in Amsterdam when she appeared on stage looking like a fucking pig in drag. We know it's Italian so she probably loves her food, but we're guessing she's gotten a lot bigger lately due to the fact that she can't resist a good old nosh on her outfits (the meat dress) in between numbers. The ass on it resembles a baby whale, the thighs have increased ten fold and that face just offends us if we're honest. It just looks a fucking mess and there ain't nothing else to it.

[Image via SPLASH]

THERE'S NOTHING ELSE WE CAN SAY

Lady GaGa has always striked us as a try hard that clearly got bullied for being Italian in high school, so it's no surprise that as a grown ass woman she dresses like a dickhead to get attention. The weird ass singer was papped leaving her hotel in Germany recently and she looked like a fucking idiot if we're honest. Just cause she's draped in vile couture sure as hell don't make her fashionable or cool in our eyes, but her fans or "little monsters" aka fags who like beaty music seem to eat this shit up like brownies. We're just waiting for her 15 minutes of fame to run out so she can go work in a deli in the East Village and spare the world of her fakeness.

[Image via ISO]

SINCE WHEN DID BRITNEY DRESS LIKE A MOM?

Britney Spears is still managing to judge talent on The X Factor USA without getting out an umbrella and stabbing a contestant, but her fashion choices appear to going a little downhill. The singer (we're being polite) was snapped arriving at auditions in Chicago recently and it looked like she'd become a mumsy 45 year old overnight. What's going on with the BAD hair and make-up lady? Even the dress and shoes ain't saving this mess of a look but at least she don't look nuts.

[Image via GETTY]

OUR CRYSTAL BALL PREDICTED THIS SHIT

If we're honest we feel a lot of embarrassment for not only Madonna, but her 50 adopted kids too. The singer (OAP) is currently touring around the world to support her latest record and she's already got her baps out here and there. What we wanna know is when will she get that's not a good look when you're mid-song and your hip breaks? Whatever goes through this bitch's head is beyond us, but we wouldn't be at all surprised if the above pic soon become a reality. Can't you just see her performing Hung Up in 20 years climbing the walls with a walker in tow?

[Image via LA BOOK BOY]

POOR OLD BABS IS TRYING

Poor old Barbra Streisand was papped leaving the gym the other day and it looked rough as arse holes. The icon (overrated singer) is apparently trying to get back into shape for an upcoming tour, as she's recently let her regime slip and become a fat bitch. She looks unrecognizable in the pic and highlights that once again time is a real cunt to a woman's looks. We wish her all the best for the tour but let's face it, she looks like a fucking train wreck covered in liver spots.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]