BEING STONED WITH YOUR MOM MUST SUCK

Oh how we feel for this poor kid. Tori Spelling took her sprog out on the town over the weekend and they did a little retail therapy, but to be honest it looked more like the kid was gonna gag from the sight of her mom's fuck off head. The has-been actress was obviously never a looker but her head seems to have grown even more and those frog eyes are just freaking us out. The poor kid even has to look away for fear of vomming.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

MORE LIKE THE FUGLIEST HOUSEWIVES...

Oh dear, Vicki Gunvalson from OC Housewives recently got chin implants and it don't look good. The dumb bitch thought she'd try and make herself look more like a dude and it kinda worked cause it was seen rocking a Lurch esque jaw at a recent Bravo press event. The horse like veneers, balding spot and tranny lashes are making us gag, so bitch should just learn to stay in doors cause no one should have to look at that face.

[Image via WENN]

IS THIS BITCH EVEN BLACK ANYMORE?

No you're eyes aren't fooling you, this is in fact ghetto rapper bitch Lil' Kim but these days it would seem she's been taking tips from La Toya cause it's going whiter on us by the day. The past-it singer was seen leaving a club in NYC recently and to be honest it could've easily been mistook for a Chinese take-out owner in drag. The fucked up eyes, swollen face and trout pout don't look good honey so maybe you should take some beauty tips from the younger and better you aka Nicki Minaj. Oh yeah we went there.

[Image via SPLASH]

WE BET HORSES ARE PISSED ABOUT THIS

Just when you think Katie Price is done making herself look like a total dick head, she stepped out to promote another cheap product of hers dressed as a slutty pantomime horse. The glamor model with herpes arrived at the photo call in this one of a kind (embarrassing as fuck) ensemble and worked the paparazzi like the whore she's always been. We seriously don't know who wilfully hands over their cash for this shite.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

GERMAN BITCHES SCRUB UP PRETTY WELL

Diane Kruger like many other German imports always look boner inducingly hot when they're covered in slap, but when it's all peeled off they make even Mila Kunis look naturally pretty. The actress (erm what's she done) was papped grabbing coffee in LA over the weekend and it looked so dog rough that apparently several paps had to get that camera lenses replaced. Also it ain't the war anymore love so get a good meal down ya cause we could literally drive through those rank legs.

[Image via FLYNET]

LITTLE MIX NEEDS TO GET RID OF THIS SHIT

Even though the shitty British pop group Little Mix are pure crap, we feel that may fair better if they trim the fat aka literally kick out that fat bitch Jesy Nelson. The overweight drag queen lookalike was seen grabbing a late night snack with her band mates and it looked like a pig who had raided a Max Factor counter. Honey please just lose some fucking weight, lay off the make-up (and food) and go get a real job for someone who looks like you.

[Image via SPLASH]

SEE XTINA LESS REALLY DOES MEAN MORE

Yeah okay so we felt like being nice again, but we couldn't help it when we saw this latest snap of Christina Aguilera at the season premiere of The Voice last night. For once we may actually have no words cause she wore an outfit that made even her look slim, laid off the orange tan and didn't sport drag make-up. See that Chrissy, if you don't dress like a slutty clown you might actually achieve something other than a flop album.

[Image via GETTY]

WOULD THIS BE ALLOWED ON WISTERIA LANE?

Like every actress in Hollywood you've got your age stages and Teri Hatcher is definitely gearing more towards the Driving Miss Daisy chapter judging by her latest snaps. The former Desperate Housewives actress was seen on a run in LA and looked dog rough to say the least. Instead of her usual manicured appearance the poor bitch looked tired and had more lines than a coloring book. Again this could just a be "bad angle" but we don't care she looks rough.

[Image via WHP]

BIG ANG IS DEFINITELY HIDING A SAUSAGE

For a long time now we've suspected that Angela Raiola aka Big Ang was a fuck off Italian tranny cause bitch just looks horrendous day in day out. Anyway according to Ang she was born a chick and has only had a couple plastic surgery procedures. Erm can you smell bullshit too? The trashy reality star was seen at a book signing in New Jersey the other day and as expected it was sporting that nasty ass trout pout. So much is wrong here that we almost kinda love her, but you can't deny that it looks a fucking state.

[Image via FLYNET]

WHO KNEW BLACK BEAUTY LIVED IN HARLOW

Joey Essex is the definition of a waste of space and for any of you who have bothered to even watch that Emmy worthy show The Only Way Is Essex you'll see that he's a closet fag who thinks he's hot. The reality TV "star" was seen running errands around the shit hole that is Essex and it looked liked he'd broken out of his stable cause his nashers looked evil as fuck. As we all know he's definitely "straight" so we're assuming he just keeps hay to nibble on in that "man bag" of his. Oh and does anyone else think he's got birds living in that nest he calls hair?

[Image via MAGIC MOMENTS]

TRUE COLORS CAN'T SHINE THROUGH THIS

Good old Cyndi Lauper is obviously a lotta fun, but bitch looked like an extra from the Addams family the other day when it stepped out for a charity event. The fag icon was papped rocking some fugly ass clown slap and can you all notice those lovely jowls that come with age? She's had a good run bless her but now it just looks scary.

[Image via FILM MAGIC]

THEODORA LOOKS BETTER WITHOUT SLAP

Holy shit balls Mila Kunis really does look rough as arse holes minus the warpaint! The voice of Meg was seen leaving her hotel in London during her Oz promo trip and it looked fucking horrific in comparison to the previous night when she walked the red carpet. To be honest we can't actually believe this is the same frickin' person cause it's like she's got a hotter twin, but no this is in fact the same bitch minus about 4 hours in the hair and make-up chair. Life is a bitch but if you steal people's husbands then God will make you pay.

[Image via REX FEATURES/ISO]

FOR ONCE VICKY B GETS IT SO WRONG

It may happen once in a blue moon but Victoria Beckham stepped out looking not so great recently. The fashion "designer" was seen strolling around London in a jacket made of hot air balloons and a pair of jeans that did her match stick pins NO favors whatsoever. To finish off this fashion fail look her feet looked like they belonged to Coco The Clown rather than an international fashion icon. Better luck next time hey Vicky!

[Image via SPLASH]

LISA WILL ALWAYS JUST BE A TV ACTRESS

Lisa Rinna is one of those actresses who will never migrate from TV and if she did it'd just be for a TV movie. The erm actress was papped leaving a gym in LA over the weekend and it looked like her lips had been stuck in a pool drain. On top of the trout pout her nips came out to play and were practically winking at the camera. Desperation has always been associated with this thing and we hope for her sake Days Of Our Lives doesn't get cancelled anytime soon.

[Image via FLYNET]

MAYBE JOLENE WAS MORE NATURAL?

We get that the pic on the right isn't one of Dolly Parton's best angles, but you can't deny that bitch is looking fucking scary as shit these days. The country (fag) icon was snapped at an event in Dallas recently and in comparison to her younger days it looked like a walking science project. Gone are the plump cheeks and youthful glow and in their place is a nasty stretched thing with clown make-up. Don't get this shit twisted cause we LOVE us some Dolly but lady has taken it way too far.

[Image via GETTY/WENN]

GERI SO HIRED THIS TO WALK PAST HER

You know you're a desperate nobody when you hire regular fatties to walk past you in the street thus making you look hotter, but we're onto you Geri Halliwell and those kinda cheap tricks just won't fly with us. The former Spice Girl was papped on the school run with her many sprogs and we gotta say it did look good seeing as it's like 50, but it reminds us that every woman could look this good if she chucked up after every meal so it's kind of a downer too. Did y'all notice that the pissed looking stranger in the great outfit is like 3 times the size of Geri?

[Image via GOFF]

HOW IS THIS BITCH NOT SKINNY ALREADY?

Okay we really don't get how there are always pictures of Gemms Collins "working out", yet the bitch still seems to resemble a walking whale from Essex. The reality TV porker was once again papped fake running through her local park in skin tight black lycra and although it wasn't white it didn't make her look good in anyway. Just looking at those vomit worthy rolls of fat and a double chin we could hide in is enough to make us purge to be honest. Usually when you exercise you lose weight so erm yeah we don't know what the deal is here.

[Image via TM MED]

FUCK NEXT TO, WE DON'T WANT THIS NEAR US...

Oh the lovely and talented and NOT annoying in anyway Emeli Sande is just the picture of perfection right here. We really don't know why this bitch fucks us off so badly, but her cocky attitude don't help for one and second of all that face (and cockatoo barnet) really makes us moody. The average singer was seen leaving LAX after performing at this years Oscars (AS IF it got invited) and it looked like a cockerel with special needs to say the least. Please just do us all a favor and go live inside a piano.

[Image via WENN]

HAPPY HOUR IS FROM FOUR TO SIX!

You all surely remember Mrs George aka Regina's drunk as fuck mom in Mean Girls? Well fast forward almost 10 years (yes you're getting fucking old) and this is what it's become. Amy Poehler was snapped shopping for food (not alcohol) and it looked like it'd gone up by at least 3 dress sizes which is such a shame cause being skinny really does equal happiness in life. The glasses look more like a comedy gab, but they are in fact worn for improving her vision. We say go back to being bulimic and wearing Juicy Couture velour tracksuits cause it's so LA chic a la 2004.

[Image via PARAMOUNT/SPLASH]

AGE JUST AIN'T BEEN KIND TO PRINCESS FIONA

Oh dear sweetie this one was taken from a "bad angle" for sure right. Cameron Diaz was seen out to dinner in LA over the weekend and we literally can't believe this is the same girl who gave every guy boners in The Mask cause bitch is looking seriously haggard these days. The actress has got some serious jowls going on and we never realized how plain it was minus all the slap, but hopefully she'll be good for a few movies before she throws in the towel.

[Image via WENN]

BITCH LOOKS LIKE SHE'S FROM A STARSHIP

What the fuck does Nicki Minaj think she looks like is what we wanna know? The ghetto hit maker was papped doing an appearance at Macy's over the weekend and it looked like black deer caught in the headlights. We're not sure whether animals are living in her barnet, but her make-up is rivaling Katie Price and her nashers were looking fucking evil to say the least. In our dreams we're still waiting for the sing off between this bitch and Lil' Kim.

[Image via WENN]