GERI SO HIRED THIS TO WALK PAST HER

You know you're a desperate nobody when you hire regular fatties to walk past you in the street thus making you look hotter, but we're onto you Geri Halliwell and those kinda cheap tricks just won't fly with us. The former Spice Girl was papped on the school run with her many sprogs and we gotta say it did look good seeing as it's like 50, but it reminds us that every woman could look this good if she chucked up after every meal so it's kind of a downer too. Did y'all notice that the pissed looking stranger in the great outfit is like 3 times the size of Geri?

[Image via GOFF]

WHAT'S HAPPENED TO CECILE?

Once again we're proved right that time and shitting out kids doesn't do wonders for ya looks. Selma Blair aka the dumb slut Cecile from Cruel Intentions was papped out to lunch in West Hollywood recently and looked a right dog. The actress has recently shat out a few kids and it certainly shows what with the dark circles, puffy face and rank hair. What the hell's going on with that barnet...it looks alive? It should really be at the gym and not stuffing her face. We hope the Coke is at least diet.

[Image via X17]

WE GET WHY JAMIE'S PILED IT ON NOW

We really do feel for Jamie Oliver cause if this is what he has to pork at night, then no wonder he's resorted to excessive comfort eating. His wife Jools Oliver was papped running errands around London and the poor bitch looked rough as arse holes. Her facial features used to be so pretty but now she looks like a witch in flip flops. Bad times for Jamie ennit.

[Image via GOFF]