The above photo is proof that if Christina Aguilera doesn't eat, hires a make-up artist that isn't blind and tones down the slap, she can look pretty damn good. In fact we were pretty shocked when we found out that the left photo was taken in 2010 and the right in February of this year. What a difference a couple years can make huh? Less is clearly more in Xtina's case, but for some reason she seems to love making herself look like a drag queen.
Urgh we get that she's never been so fit but Jodie Marsh is just looking like a scary mess lately. The former glamor model (well paid whore) was snapped attending yet another bullshit body building competition somewhere and it looked like a fucking freak show. Okay her body itself is amazing but the tattoos, tits and clown make-up are just plain rank. Apparently since becoming a walking science project she's been getting a lot more male attention, but we're pretty sure that the guys who are hitting on her are blind.
We just love how some people actually believe they have taste and Kim Zolciak is a classic example of this common delusion. The trashy Real Housewives star was seen getting ready shortly before her wedding to football player Kroy Biermann (he doesn't know what he's in for) on her own spin-off show Don't Be Tardy For The Wedding. You know you're marrying a woman with standards when she brushes her teeth whilst in her wedding dress over the sink and then spits out with an entire camera crew around. Oh and like every bride out there Kim had her dressmaker measure the amount of "side titty" she wanted on her big day and as you can it was a ladylike 2 inches. We're just loving that French manicure too cause it screams class.
Holy moly! Jennifer Hudson has got one fuck off pair of teeth on her ain't she? We wonder if it neigh's like a horse in the morning? Anyway the human version of Black Beauty (she wishes) was papped arriving at the airport and by the looks of the photo she almost swallowed the photographer. Also, we're not really getting why she still hasn't ditched that $2 hooker weave yet? Granted it's got a good voice, but she's not a looker the poor thing.
Who'd have thought that eligible bachelor Joe Millionaire would have aged so badly over the years? The once handsome guy who had his own hit TV show was interviewed recently and didn't look so good. Nowadays, he looks more like some member of a has-been rock band that's let himself go. The goatee is doing absolutely nothing to help his current look either.
Oh honey, what have you done yourself? Rose McGowan was papped sitting front row at a fashion show in LA (low) and she looked like a mummified corpse. We've posted about her facial transformation before, but she looks so deformed here we couldn't resist a follow up. The actress who played Paige in TV show Charmed used to be so pretty, but apparently she thought she'd look hotter with tumor sized cheekbones. Nothing else to say other than she's a fucking idiot who's ruined her face.
Fucking hell love, you clearly embraced the term "eating for two" whilst you were preggers didn't you? Jessica Simpson FINALLY shat out her little of babies a couple months ago and was recently snapped arriving at her local gym to start shifting some of that baby weight. What's even juicier is that the walking whale is apparently being paid $4 million by Weight Watchers to lose all the weight she gained during her pregnancy. We bet motivation isn't hard to find when you're getting paid ridiculous sums of money. We can't get the image of this body wearing Daisy Duke's out of our head. Such a lovely visual right?
Marianne Faithfull is living proof that if you party hard you'll pay for it in the end. It was never much of a looker to begin with but she recently stepped out looking like a ball of lard in a black tent, thus proving our point that your body's a temple and needs respecting. The 60's icon/slapper is known for both her singing career (pretty shit) and the infamous "Mars bar parties" she used to have with Mick Jagger back in the day. If you're unfamiliar with this it's basically when you eat a Mars bar out of someone's pussy. It sounds tempting but it wouldn't float our boat cause we're more partial to Wispa's. Anyway it looks like Marianne skips the pussy part now and just shovels them in her mouth by the ton.
We can't help but feel sorry for Khloe Kardashian cause let's face it when your sister is Kim Kardashian, aka a famous walking sperm bank, you must constantly be reminded that you're fugly. What's even worse is that her other sister Kourtney, who has slight down syndrome features, still looks hotter than her. Anyway the unlucky in looks sister was papped leaving the gym in LA the other day and shocked onlookers with her make-up free complexion. Poor old Khloe looked like a pig in need of a spray tan and we're still unsure as to whether or not she hides the sausage. What do you think?
Bethenny Frankel is known for her love of money, fame and erm more money. The materialistic former star of Real Housewives was snapped walking around NYC over the weekend and we're guessing she looked so shocked because she remembered how much money she has. If anyone is motivated by the big bucks then it's Bethenny cause this bitch is always seen sporting the latest designer shit. On the other hand, she could be having a fit in the above pic cause she does look slightly retarded. She gets an A+ for her body and outfit, but her eyes are freaking us out cause they're different sizes and that thinning hairline kinda ruins the look.
Like we've said before, sometimes we feel like being nice and after seeing this FLAWLESS photo of Jennifer Aniston we just couldn't resist sharing it with you all. The 43 year old actress (stretching it but fuck she looks good) has certainly got better with age and is looking damn fine lately, but we definitely think she's had some nose work done amongst other treatments. Let's face it though, when you're a shit actress you kinda have to make up for it in the looks department and she has done this tenfold.
Nene Leakes aka the bitch bully from The Real Housewives Of Atlanta really ain't a looker is she? The reality star was interviewed on TV and looked more like a pig in drag than a fierce housewife. We're not feeling those ridiculous earrings and when is she gonna get rid of that $5 hooker wig? Also, did she fart or something during the interview cause she looked like she smelt something nasty and was gonna barf?
We're pretty sure that if Elvis was alive he'd be like what the fuck. Priscilla Presley has long been known for her love of plastic surgery, but it looks like she's taken it way too far these past few years. The former wife of the rock 'n' roll icon was papped out to dinner with friends in LA recently and she looked like a plastic ghost. The gold digger was stunning in her early years, but apparently she prefers looking like she's been embalmed. Each to their own, but this bitch definitely has a screw loose.
Sharon Osbourne touched down in her native London the other day, but something looked very different and rather fucked up about her. The businesswoman (rough bitch) seems to have taken her "dental work" a tad too far and what's going on with that bizarre hairline too? It looks like she's shifted some of the weight she piled on last year though so at least there's some good news. Don't her lips just look beautifully natural?
Oh dear. Kathleen Turner was snapped walking around Florida recently and it looks like she's literally become a human whale. The once svelte actress has clearly let herself go and it seems that her best friend these days is the buffet table. Everything has gone to shit what with her fuck off massive head, beer belly and her features are almost nowhere to be seen. It sucks but time and food really can shit on one's career.
First off, we gotta hand it to Cynthia Nixon for actually shaving all her hair off to play a cancer victim in a broadway play. However, the poor bitch is looking pretty rough lately and we don't get why she looks so much older than the rest of the Sex & The City cast? Maybe it has something to do with the shaved head, but the poor thing looked rank when she showed up to a charity event in NYC recently. There's nothing in particular that sticks out in a bad way, but she just looks like a sewer rat.
It seems that poor old Lil' Kim is getting more desperate by the minute. The past-it rapper who paved the way for other females, such as her bestie Nicki Minaj, was papped at a recent gay pride event in LA (low even for her) and she looked like a reject circus worker in drag. It's kinda sad that she can't see how lame she's become cause girlfriend needs to face the fact that time goes on and being a bitter bitch who resembles an overweight tranny won't help an already sinking career.
Just when you think you've seen Tara Palmer-Tomkinson looking her worst, she steps out in public and proves that she does in fact get uglier by the day. The deformed coke whore was snapped walking around London in a very old Prada dress (embarrassing) and she looked like Gollum's twin sister. It also appears to have a receding hairline which is most unusual for women and we'd be willing to put money on the fact that we could sleep on her forehead. The lovely nose and teeth just finish off this chic look doncha' think?
We're not gonna hate on Jennifer Lopez's looks cause let's face it she'd give a wasp an erection, but what the fuck did her stylist put her in when she appeared on The Graham Norton Show recently? The diva Latina wore a garbage bag, a cheap QVC style necklace and as for her hair, we're pretty sure robins are nesting in there somewhere. It's unfortunate that such DISGUSTING styling can make such a hot bitch look like a car crash. We hope JLo fired this person's ass as soon as the show was broadcast.
In case you're wondering this isn't a 70 year old man in drag it's just Liza Minnelli. Yeah that's how fugly it is people. The global fag hag (you're welcome to her gays) was pictured performing over the weekend and she looked like the tranny version of Coco The Clown. Everything from the birds nest hair to the make-up was a total disaster and it seems that she really does want people to think she's a man playing dress up. Those press-on nails are positively VILE too and she must have a hard time wiping her special place after urinating that's for sure.
Without the use of Photoshop "models" like Kate Moss would frankly have no career. The coke whore was snapped arriving at the airport in London recently and it looked fucking DOG rough. Can you even believe that she's capable of looking like the photo on the left without FUCK loads of retouching? It's like she has a head transplant for every print ad she does, cause there ain't no way in hell Mossy can scrub up this well compared to her unfortunate reality. Rank skin, flat hair, crooked teeth and wrinkles galore doesn't really make us think of a supermodel.
Seeing this shit makes even us feel super old now. Sally Field was snapped arriving at a recent charity event in LA and it looked like she was in serious need of a walking stick cause she be looking old. It's hard to believe that it's 65 cause we remember her as the WAY more youthful bitch ex-wife in Mrs. Doubtfire. She's full on let her hair go to shit too and we wonder if Robin Williams would even recognize her?
Everything about the above photo is just plain nasty. Gemma Collins aka the obese cunt from The Only Way Is Essex was papped on vacay in Malaga and she looked like a pig waiting to be tagged. What's even more disgusting is that the fat bitch was eating Cheetos and didn't seem the slightest bit embarrassed. This mess of a being should have her jaw wired up and shouldn't be allowed to touch solids for at least six months. If it's even lucky enough to get a boyfriend, we hope for the guys sake that she doesn't like doing 69's.
We really can't decide if it's good thing that Lindsay Lohan has been cast to portray icon (and let's face it slapper) Elizabeth Taylor in the new Lifetime movie Liz & Dick. One thing we do know however is that LiLo is looking good and it's great that she's finally back to work. To be honest, we had to do a double take cause at first we didn't know it was her in the pic and let's face it that can't be a bad sign. We wish her all the best and hope it turns out to be a success. We know that's a shocking statement from The Sizzling Mess, but we are actually capable of being nice.
Hilary Swank has never really been considered a looker, but we never realized how fucking DOG ROUGH it looked minus slap. The actress was snapped shopping in NYC for what we're guessing was a new cauldron and she looked like an ugly sister en route to the gym. We've always thought she had that "I was born with a dick" look about her, so this does nothing to squash the post-op rumors. What's with the rank skin too love? Urgh these pics brought up our lunch that's for sure.
Tara Reid really is the epitome of a hot fucking mess. The actress (barely) was papped at the Cannes Film Festival and she looked like a rough slapper who's had more pricks than a second hand dartboard. Now if you all saw American Reunion then you'll agree that she's practically a younger Meryl Streep, but in terms of her looks she's full on let herself go lately. At only 36 years old her face looks haggard and those pearly whites, or rather pearly yellows, are just gross. It's just a total car crash that looks cheap and nasty.
The world often wonders what Kim Kardashian would stop at in order to get press, but we think that even she'd go for the above if it secured the right amount of column inches. Oh and let's not forget the right amount of dollars for that CLASSY mother Kris Jenner. To be honest, we think it shows Kimmy in a perfectly honest light cause she is a whore that gets her pussy out for fame, so why not continue cashing in on this example? We're just wondering if we should of made the cock black seeing as she's fucking Kanye now? Come to think this is her we're talking about and we wouldn't be surprised if she had a couple more guys on the go.
Even though she's got that fucked up cheap whore look about her you gotta love La Toya Jackson. The erm we're gonna say porn star/freeloader has certainly changed quite a bit since her younger years and it appears that she's a completely different race. Looks like she's racist like her late (and equally fucked up) brother Michael. Oh yes we said it. She was actually quite pretty pre-surgery, but since then she's morphed into a scary version of Barbie gone wrong. What the fuck do these Jackson's do to their noses too? We bet their mom is well offended.
Do you all remember when Billie Piper was the joke of the nation when she got dumped by Chris Evans? Imagine the embarrassment when someone so attractive (not by the above) is dumped by such a fugly ginga. The erm shall we say actress/singer was seen having lunch with friends in London recently and looked like an ugly stepsister from Cinderella. We always remember her being pretty hot, so what's with the bunny teeth and acne?
What's with all these pointless Big Brother contestants that end up getting famous? Josie Gibson aka the bikini killer was papped running (amazed she can) along the beach in Spain and she looked like a fucking pig with cellulite. Why on earth wouldn't she wear at least a one piece, or better yet a yashmak? We're just waiting for the fragrance or in her case muffin range and fitness DVD to come out.