BRITISH WOMEN ARE SO CLASSY AIN'T THEY?

No the above is not a group of pigs playing dress up, it's actually a group of women wearing their finest to the opening day of the Grand National in Liverpool. Wow we're actually surprised we kept our lunch down whilst writing that opener. Anyway we just had to give these ladies their extra 2 minutes of fame cause they really do look like a bunch of beasts...and that's being polite. We're guessing the first bird on the left pulls in shifts as a barmaid to make ends meet cause she's got that brassy Northern look and let's face it that outfit has Primark written all over it. We don't even know what the second woman is if we're honest but we'll go with a hooker that's experiencing cum erosion on her teeth. The third is obviously the best looking out of them all but those legs are just evil and the salesperson should be fired just for selling her that dress. Last but not least we'll take a guess and say the pig in the floral dress works as a hairdresser (nothing to back this theory up of course), but she does look like one of those birds that always has an excuse to not start the diet and ends up looking like Free Willy and feeling insecure in her holiday snaps. Now we ain't perfect but what you've just read is what we like to call saying it like is people.

[Image via DAILY MAIL]

THIS BIRD WAS BORN TO BE ON CORRIE...

When you're born in Leeds you've never got much chance of being classy and good old Beverly Callard from Corrie is living proof of this. The rough Northern bitch was papped leaving her local pub in Manchester the other night and looked like an old slapper who loves cock to say the least. We heard that she glassed a younger girl in the face for trying to chat up her fella...allegedly. The tacky metallic dress, rank gold nails and campy pose are what this woman is known for and we doubt she'll ever change. You've gotta love a rough bit who tries though don't you?

[Image via REX]

STOP RIGHT NOW AND GET THE SLAP LOVE!

So after seeing this shit it's pretty clear that Mel B is one of the unfortunate women out there that need a fuck load of make-up to look good cause bitch looks nasty sans slap. Scary Spice was papped en route to dinner in London recently and she sure lived up to her rough bitch from Leeds name cause it looked she'd deck anyone who fucked her off. Not much else to say cause let's face it she's kinda boring and far too brassy for our liking.

[Image via AKM-GSI]

WELL IT SEEMS THAT PIGS CAN ACTUALLY FLY

For the unculured bunch who don't know who Holly Hagan is, she's a reality TV star (pig in a wig) who stars on MTV show Geordie Show aka slags from the north. The tranny mess was seen arriving in Australia with her cast mates and it looked like a chubby clown whilst walking through the airport. Apparently a customs officer asked her if she had anything to declare and she replied "I'm a dog" so we've gotta give the bitch props for her humor. Oh, that's one evil face though.

[Image via INF]

WE DON'T WANT U BACK HONEY

Sometimes the young and fresh Cher Lloyd can look really cute, but lately she's been looking like a fucking ugly sister that thinks she's a punk. The trashy X Factor finalist who's currently working like a bitch to get her SHITE music heard was seen arriving for a morning show in NYC recently and it looked a total mess. The rank red hair matched her lips (not a good look), her complexion was riddled with pimples and for someone that's just 18 she's got a fair amount of wrinkles. Even if you're a fan (cause she pays you), you can't deny that she looks a state here.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

D-LISTERS FOREVER

It's comforting to know that D-Listers will always be there for the EVEN LESS fortunate to have a laugh. At the Larry Crowne premiere in London last night, former Iceland spokesperson (coke addict) Kerry Katona was seen on the red carpet along with some wannabe WAG mess who had THE most natural lookin' tits we've ever seen. Michelle Heaton was unfortunately nowhere to be seen. Anyhoo it looks like Kerry is slowly piling it back on again, but we suppose for a D-Lister it ain't that big of a deal. Is it just us or does Kerry look like the spittin' image of a New Look employee? Gotta love a good ole northern mess.

[Images via XPOSURE]