WE'D PUT MONEY AND CUM ON THIS SHIT

The world often wonders what Kim Kardashian would stop at in order to get press, but we think that even she'd go for the above if it secured the right amount of column inches. Oh and let's not forget the right amount of dollars for that CLASSY mother Kris Jenner. To be honest, we think it shows Kimmy in a perfectly honest light cause she is a whore that gets her pussy out for fame, so why not continue cashing in on this example? We're just wondering if we should of made the cock black seeing as she's fucking Kanye now? Come to think this is her we're talking about and we wouldn't be surprised if she had a couple more guys on the go.

[Image via WIRE/THE SIZZLING MESS]

GOOD NEIGHBORS DON'T STEAL FOOD

Remember the days when singer/actress (containing laughter) Holly Valance shook her stuff around in the music video for her GREAT single Kiss Kiss? Well gone are those days judging by the bitch's double chin and thunder thighs. The former Neighbors star (such a shit show) was papped eating (we're shocked) in LA with billionaire fiance Nick Candy last week and according to sources she didn't leave a single crumb on her plate. She's a right crafty bitch marrying this guy, but to be honest if we were banging someone who had billions we'd be sure to marry them "for love" too. Give it 5 years tops and she'll be taking him to the fucking cleaners.

[Image via WENN]

IT'S GREAT THAT YOU'RE SKINNY BUT...

For our UK readers (we know there's like 12), Bethenny Frankel is the former cast member of Real Housewives Of New York. She decided to quit the show back in 2010 cause she wanted a real life. Oh and she sold some crappy margarita drink she owned the license to and made a fuck load of money, which she's clearly not been spending on making herself look hotter. The businesswoman was snapped out to lunch and judging by her facial expression, the thought of how much money she has tucked away in her savings account even makes her feel sick. Such a hard life ennit.

[Image via FLYNET]

DOES KHLOE COUNT AS TWINS?

Fuckin' hell Khloe Kardashian packs one hell of an ass that's for sure. In fact we reckon this BEAST of a behind is capable of cracking a walnut. We don't really understand why she chose to highlight her slim frame by wearing skinny jeans, but we guess when you're as new money as she is who gives a shit. The businesswoman (erm pig) was papped leaving the doctor's office as she's rumored to be preggers and we'd be willing to put money down that she's having a whole litter. Jesus, those jeans are fucking sprayed on love.

[Image via XPOSURE]

THROW SHAMU BACK IN THE OCEAN

Fuckin' hell Jess ya piling it on ennit? Former anorexic pop star Jessica Simpson was pictured signing autographs at the launch for her new Too Fat To Chew business venture. According to the whale herself, you can blend anything from strawberries (in her case doughnuts), transfer the contents to a drip bag, insert an easy-to-use needle into your favorite vein and bam you've got yourself a quick and instant food hit. No chewing necessary. We get that she's pregnant (fat), but it looks like this bitch is eating for 4 judging by the double chin and bloated facial features. Won't be long now until she's bed bound and getting sores everywhere. Yuck.

[Image via GETTY]

IT'S JUST MONEY ENNIT

Now we ain't sayin' this bitch is a mess cause she's SHIT hot, but one thing that AMAZING actress Jennifer Aniston didn't always have were slim thighs. Judging by the oldies we found above which were taken in around '96, it's clear that her ass could have easily cracked a walnut or two back in the day. Isn't it great when celebs tell the truth about how they were just 'blessed' with good genes and shit like that? Come on Jen, we all know the secret to that body is making yourself throw up after every meal. If money's also the key then what the fuck is Khloe Kardashian's excuse?

[Image via WIRE]