WE CAN'T TELL WHO THE WOMAN IS PEOPLE...

Paz De La Huerta has always been a funny looking bird but now she's packed on about 300 pounds she's just a fugly hot mess. We've never been truly sure about what it is and at times we've doubted that it was born a woman with a face like that, but it would seem that someone does love her as she was snapped leaving a club in West Hollywood with her partner (we don't know what it is either) and the bitch looked happy as fuck. The dress is actually kinda nice but the body is ballooning and her face is just way too bloated. We all know that it's either down to overeating or drugs...allegedly.

[Image via SPLASH]

FUCK OFF IS THIS THE SAME PERSON!

Sofia Vergara is well known for her luscious looks and "give you a woody in 3 seconds" effect, but it seems just like every poor bitch in the world she too looks dog rough minus the warpaint. The sexy Modern Family actress was papped out to lunch in LA this week and she looked a world away from her usually groomed to fuck red carpet appearances. In place of the usual sizzling Latina was a plain and foreign looking thing who could easily be mistaken for someone's maid if we're totally honest. This just proves that with money and the right resources anything is possible.

[Image via PACIFIC/X17]

WHAT DOES JUSTIN SEE IN YOU?

We always thought Selena Gomez was a sexy (dirty Latina) import, but after seeing this shit we've had to majorly reassess cause bitch looks nasty sans the slap. Okay we get it's young and whatever but she looked like a big ole bloated mess whilst out on a shopping trip in LA recently and frankly we think Biebs can do a lot better. The overrated walking Disney billboard is apparently hard at work in the studio recording a new album, but to be honest all we give a shit about is when the pics of Justin fucking her leak.

[Image via EROTEME]

GABRIELLE SOLIS WOULD JUDGE THIS SHIT

Now we've never really rated Eva Longoria that highly cause we think she's kinda plain so finding this GEM of a pic just proves that we're right. The sexy Mexican (dirty foreigner) actress was papped shopping around LA over the weekend and we wouldn't be surprised if L'Oreal were currently in talks to end her contract early. We have to say that we're surprised she looks so bad minus the slap, cause she resembles a cross-eyed homeless woman as opposed to a Hollywood actress. We wonder if her new movie will be called Mexicans Are Special?

[Image via FLYNET]

IT CAN'T DO MARRIAGE OR FASHION

We're not gonna hate on Jennifer Lopez's looks cause let's face it she'd give a wasp an erection, but what the fuck did her stylist put her in when she appeared on The Graham Norton Show recently? The diva Latina wore a garbage bag, a cheap QVC style necklace and as for her hair, we're pretty sure robins are nesting in there somewhere. It's unfortunate that such DISGUSTING styling can make such a hot bitch look like a car crash. We hope JLo fired this person's ass as soon as the show was broadcast.

[Image via BBC]

YOUR FACE IS A SIN HONEY

The Sizzling Mess has NEVER come across a bad pic of actress Jessica Alba...until now. The usually stunning star was papped leaving her hotel in Paris yesterday and she looked like a character from Bo Selecta. Even though she always looks pretty hot, we feel like she always has a sort of down syndrome ish appearance. Is it just us or does she looks like she's been beaten up a little too? Maybe she "poked herself in the eye" or maybe she fucked off Chris Brown.

[Image via SPLASH]