YOU AIN'T ONE OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

We always wondered what Dita Von Teese ever saw in Marilyn Manson cause let's face it he ain't exactly a looker is he? The rock star who once used to be relevant (like Xtina but bad music) was snapped at a film premiere in LA recently and boy did it look horrendous sans slap. We don't even know what it is and what's the grill too Miley?

[Image via FILM MAGIC]

THIS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED AT SHOWS

Don't get us wrong, dressing cool and quirky can work but when you're as old and fugly as Anna Dello Russo it fails miserably. The editor of Vogue Japan was snapped arriving at the Balenciaga show in Paris earlier today and boy did the bitch look a fool. We just don't get how this is even "fashion cool" at 51 (and the rest) cause she looks a fucking state. The fake tan, skinny legs, hilarious get up and stoopid hat didn't do her any favors, but what do we know she's an editor right?

[Image via FLYNET]

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS?

Nice teeth honey! This definitely gives dog a new meaning cause Jade Goody's mother Jackiey Budden was papped looking rough as pure shite recently. Jesus do you all remember when Jade paid for her mom to have a makeover? Nice to know she took it seriously huh! Good old Jackiey was back to her rough dyke self when she went shopping the other day, but this seriously takes fugly to another level. Like don't even bother leaving your house when you look like this cause you've gone and offended us bitch. It's the kind of "woman" who's proud of glassing another bird outside her local for shagging her fella. Urgh we can't deal with this amount of common.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

THIS DOG WILL SNORT A LINE IN 5 SECONDS

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson really puts the d-o-g in DOG cause bitch is a fucking mess and she better know it people. The coke whore former IT girl was snapped at a party in London recently and as usual it looked like a hot mess covered in crystal meth. First off we need to point out that she's only wearing one false eyelash, but we're guessing she pulled off the other one and rolled it up to snort a line? Allegedly for the lawyers reading this! We think it's pretty safe to say that Tara ain't go chance of looking good these days.

[Image via GETTY]

GENIE CAN FIT IN THE BOTTLE AGAIN YAY!

We couldn't help ourselves when we saw the latest pics of Christina Aguilera cause she's taking this weight loss to another level! Looking back she DEF looks better minus all the flab cause heavy doesn't look good on her. This totes proves that all women should be skinny cause if you think she looked like a "real woman" in the left pic, then you're just kidding yourselves cause you're probs fat.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST/NBC]

PLEASE THROW OUT YOUR MAGIC MIRROR!

Oh honey no what the fuck do you look like now? Natalie Cassidy braved the cruel world we live in (courtesy of us) and stepped out to get some treats from her local offy the other. We ain't gonna lie but she really ain't easy on the eyes and we don't know what she was thinking with the glasses. She's probably a really nice girl but we really haven't got a clue what is is people.

[Image via SPLASH]

THERE'S NOT REALLY MUCH DIFFERENCE NOW

Poor old Anjelica Huston really doesn't have gravity on her side cause the poor bitch has aged terribly to say the least. The actress known for her portrayal of some fugly witch was snapped at a charity event in London recently and boy did it look scary. We'd like to know what's under that wig of hers tbh...any guesses?

[Image via WARNER BROS/REX]

WE WOULDN'T WANNA PISS PAMMY OFF TBH

We're not entirely sure if we've ever done a post on classic beauty (who are we kidding) Pamela Anderson, but when we spotted this corker we couldn't not share it with y'all! The former Baywatch star was papped walking around LA the other day and let's just say we wouldn't wanna get on the wrong side of it cause she looked like a right rough bitch. Gone are the youthful looks that once made her a household name and instead we're subjected to hooker eyebrows, badly dyed hair and a hard ass face. Aging is such a shame ennit.

[Image via SPLASH]

WTF DID ANNA WINTOUR DO TO SANDY?

Okay so don't get it twisted cause we LOVE actress Sandra Bullock as much as the next mofo, but we really ain't feeling her latest Vogue cover. We're not sure what Anna was going for with this photo but we think she looks more like a dykey elf who's related to Enya than fashion cover girl. Is it just us who's seeing this cause Sandy usually looks stunning? What a fucking bad choice for the cover though guys.

[Image via VOGUE]

DESIGNERS WANT THIS SITTING FRONT ROW?

Is it just us or is the weight slowly creeping back onto Kelly Osbourne? It can't be easy for fat birds to keep it off forever cause food must be all they crave and we totes think those upper thighs have gotten chunkier in recent months. We gotta give her props for not being obese anymore, but the hair mixed with the paleness and the outfit makes us think of a bad tranny and we're floored that E! hire this to co-host a FASHION based TV show. Awkward that her boyfriend is more feminine than her huh?

[Image via REX]

XTINA IS STILL OUR CURRENT IMPROVER FAVE!

Xtina is literally on fire at the moment and we can't believe how much difference a year makes! Christina Aguilera was seen promoting her latest fragrance over the weekend in LA and bitch was looking fierce in a skin tight LBD with cut-out panels. It looks like the songstress and The Voice coach finally had enough of the haters and is now flipping them one fuck off middle finger. Let's hope she keeps the weight off this time cause nobody wants to look at a whale.

[Image via TWITTER]

LOOKS LIKE IT'S STILL EATING FOR TWO...

Seriously did Jessica Simpson go and eat her kids or something? The former singer and now food addict was snapped out to dinner in NYC recently (shocker) and boy did she look a world away from her Newlywed days. We literally don't know if she's pregnant or not cause it seemed like she was carrying a whole litter last time, but whatever she's got planned for the future we hope a diet's in the mix somewhere. Come on Jess don't you miss seeing your feet?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS BEYONCE'S SISTER?

Come on guys let's face it cause poor old Solange Knowles doesn't really stand a chance when Beyonce's her sister. Although she's a less annoying and not a diva bitch it really ain't something we like to look at for too long. We get that she's embracing her natural hair and giving the finger to weaves, but we think the presence of one would actually soften up her mannish features. Like we said she puts out some cool tunes but that fuck off strong jaw is making us think something else is between it's legs.

[Image via SPLASH]

HOW THE FUCK DID THIS EVER GET ON 90210?!

This poor bitch has to be one of the most unfortunate looking birds out there and we really don't get how Tori Spelling ever landed a role on Beverly Hills 90210 in the first place...oh yeah cause her dad created the show. The funny looking actress was papped doing her weekly grocery shop in LA and looked butters as usual bless her. You think she'd at least get her roots done seeing as she wipes her shitter with 50s no?

[Image via XPOSURE]

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING?

Carol McGiffin is one fucking ugly bird and we don't give a shit if that's offensive cause our faces are offended from having to see her mug on the box. The rough TV host is currently on Celebrity Big Brother and as usual she's looking like her dog rough slapper self. Seriously though we don't even know what it is and we're being serious.

[Image via REX]

WE AIN'T RUBBING A MAGIC LAMP FOR THIS!

Now we LOVE us some Nene Leakes but lady often looks like a fuck off drag queen and on this occasion the bitch got the look spot on. The outspoken Real Housewives star was seen on the set of Extra the other day rocking a new hairpiece and let's just say it didn't do her any favors. With the addition of the double chin that perfectly finishes this look off, we think it's safe to say that this genie should stay inside the magic lamp.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

NO FOLKS THIS AIN'T KATIE PRICE'S DAUGHTER

Okay so what the FUCK was Courtney Stodden thinking when she got these implants and more importantly what kind of surgeon actually agrees to put em in? The plastic fantastic bimbo was seen sunbathing in the Big Brother garden as she's currently appearing in the British reality show and boy are those melons big. We're guessing she was going for a really natural look and what's up with the pussy brushing?

[Image via CHANNEL 5]

GATSBY WON'T FUCK YOU LIKE THIS HONEY!

Oh dear this ain't a very good snap of Carey Mulligan is it people? The posh British actress was papped arriving at LAX with her Mumford & Sons hubby and bitch looked rough as shit. We had to do a second take at first cause we couldn't actually believe she was this plain minus the slap! What the hell would Leo say to this people?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

THE DIVINE MISS M HAS GOT ONE BIG RACK!

Now you just gotta love Bette Midler cause the fag hag is totes hilare, but the other day the poor bitch went swimming whilst on vacay and wore THE most unflattering bathing suit. The all round talent was seen splashing around in the ocean and according to sources even the dolphins were getting hard at the sight of her fuck off erect nips. For a bird that's almost 70 years old she is packing some serious knockers. We are totes thinking that Wind Beneath My Tits is way more appropriate after seeing this...we love you Bette!

[Image via SPLASH]

MORE LIKE DYKE UP YOUR LIFE!

It's kinda shocking that we've never featured Mel C on The Sizzling Mess before, but when we clapped eyes on the above snap of her jogging around London recently her luck ran out. What the fuck is it wearing for a start and we know you're only running love but did you need to dress like a butters dyke who's partially sighted? We're not really sure what she does anymore but she could totes do with some ProActiv too.

[Image via INF]

LOOK IT'S THE MAD HATTER GONE WRONG!

How the fuck can Perez Hilton be judgmental when he looks like a fucking butters tranny? The bitchy queen was seen filming something for his crappy blog in LA the other day and calling it ugly would be a fuck off huge understatement. We just don't know what it is people? Even though it's lost 20 stone there's still button strain, moobs and belly rolls. This queen just makes our stomachs turn if we're honest.

[Image via PEREZ HILTON]