Now don't get it twisted cause we love us some Melissa McCarthy, but come the fuck on everyone knows that when you're morbidly obese you just can't be stylish. The fitch (fat bitch) was snapped at a non-food related event (shocker) in LA and looked like a ball of lard rolling down the red carpet. What repulses us so much about this photo is that the FLATTERING dress she wore perfectly highlights her pelly (pussy belly). We suppose it still scrubs up okay for a fattie.
Fuck us hard cause we just can't believe what Kelly Clarkson's stylist has put her in this time. The former Idol winner has become a right funt (fat cunt) lately and we just wish she'd put down the donuts and record a decent song already. Good old Kel wore a skin tight Herve Leger dress, which is a popular choice with celebs who like to show off their curves (fat). Unfortunately on this occasion it was another fail for the fattie and it's back to the drawing board or in her case the fridge.
Okay so it has a bangin' bikini bod, but we bet this shit cracked the paparazzi guys camera lens cause it looked truly DOG rough while on vacay. The overrated vocalist (ish) Florence Welch was snapped trying to strike a sultry pose which of course failed. We've never "got" what the big deal is with her shitty music and tranny-like features either. We'll admit that it's got some talent cause she clearly didn't blow anyone to achieve success, but that face reminds us of Felicity Huffman with a couple more shit genes thrown in. On a more positive note, her new album Tranny Clown With Downs will released in the coming months.
The queen of country Dolly Parton was snapped on the red carpet and she really did look like an over the hill human Barbie doll. The CLASSY wig looked highly flammable, her cheeks looked like an ass crack and her tits were giving Katie Price a run for her money. What have the fuck have you done to yourself honey? The bitch is only 65 and she looked like a waxwork figure of some cheap hooker. Less is more!
Fuckin hell this bitch is almost unrecognizable. Former TV star Jennifer Ellison was snapped having a splash around whilst on holiday in Skeggy and it looked like a right Scous slag. The poor bitches face used to be kinda cute, but now she looks more like a slutty (and fat) garden gnome. Surely if she looked in the mirror she'd do something about that RANK jeck (jaw neck) too? It's SO gonna release a fitness DVD in 6 months...watch this space.
If you've never seen it, this is the sight of a tired hooker. The "talented" Terri Seymour who was Simon Cowell's glorified escort for years was snapped walking around LA running errands and it sure looked DOG rough. The bitch looked like a fucked off vampire in need of a blood hit and can you believe this thing is 37. Maybe it's time to ask Simon for a bit more cash so you can get some work done love?
Jesus, when we saw this shit we almost screamed and then barfed up our lunch. Cameron Diaz usually looks bangin' at award shows, but this bitch was looking plain NASTY as she partied it up at the Golden Globes piss-up. Besides the fuckin' rank dress, that 9 year old boy cropped haircut is doing guuurl friend NO favors. We just feel that she looks like a cheap Polish post-op hooker. Lay off the weights too love cause those guns just look awful against that STUNNING dress. Bad day for Cameron ennit.
Wow, it really amazes us what a cancelled TV show can do to one's image. This lovely specimen of a being is Debra Messing although we like to refer to her as Debs. The now struggling actress was seen walking the streets of LA looking for scraps to eat, as according to industry sources Debs has blown most of her Will & Grace money on witchcraft training. Anyhoo the poor thing looked more like an astrologist than a Hollywood star. Maybe her next role could be as an extra in the new Witches Of Eastwick remake?
Okay so judge us all you want but we really liked Christina Aguilera in Burlesque, although we'll admit it was more about her screaming her head off than telling a story. What we found so fucking dumb is that her character Ali Rose made Christina look like the cheapest whore in comparison. Surely if Xtina didn't think it herself, Cher would have been like "you look so much better without white hair and 3 inches of slap love." Anyhow the CLASSY bitch was snapped leaving a restaurant on Chrismas Eve and once again she resembled a drag queen that needs a good scrub. How many times have we gotta tell you honey...less is more.
Isn't it weird that we've never posted about a man before? Well that might not be true, but we can't be fucked to go back and check. Anyway moving on, is it just us or does Mickey Rourke actually resemble a mummified corpse? The actor was pretty good lookin' back in his prime, but now his mouth looks like a gaping anus. Just don't leaving your house buddy cause you'd even give blind people a fright.