DREAM LOVER HAS BECOME CAKE LOVER...

We honestly don't get what goes on in the kitchen of singer turned beast Mariah Carey these days. The high note songstress was papped leaving her apartment in NYC yesterday and judging by her fat ass cheeks it looked as though she'd been back on the pies again. Seriously did someone just inflate her head cause it looks fucking huge? At least she kept her massive tits and thighs hidden cause we know MC loves dressing like a whore, although it doesn't work when your body resembles the frame of a pig honey. Just pick a side like Nicole Richie and Kirstie Alley have and stay there!

[Image via AKM/GSI]

YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA BE COCO CHANEL!

Liza Minnelli gets a lot of heat from us but if you look like this then you're bound to be our favorite hot mess. The campy singer was seen attending a charity event in NYC the other night and judging by the above snap she was trying to channel Coco Chanel and failed miserably as per usual. The dressy hat, curled sideburn, fake beauty mark and excess pearls screamed drag queen and as usual the deluded star thought she'd looked a million dollars. You've gotta love hot mess fag hag who thinks she's the shit though!

[Image via GETTY]

WE CAN'T FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT FOR ELT...

Poor old Elton John was finally snapped out shopping in LA the other without his famous round spectacles and let's just say we now get why he wears them all the time. The campy legend was seen browsing a wig store (shocker) in the Hollywood area and we're hoping he was planning to replace the dodgy rug he was papped wearing. What's going on with that bloodshot eye though and you'd think with all his dosh he'd get those eye bags removed wouldn't you?

[Image via GOLDEN EYE]

MR GRAVITY EVEN HATES ON 60'S ICONS!

Twiggy used to be known for her waif like figure and big eyed appearance, but fast forward 40 ish years and you can see that we do in fact live in a cruel world. The former model was seen running errands around London and although we know she's not 20 anymore the woman looked rough. At least brush your hair and lift the chin up when you know there's paps around.

[Image via GETTY/FLYNET]

DAMN IT LIZA YOU WERE SO CLOSE THIS TIME!

Okay y'all know that we LOVE us some Liza Minnelli but at the Oscars on Sunday the campy singer rocked up wearing a blue ensemble (notice the blue hair steak too) and yet again slightly missed the mark. While we can't deny her hair and make-up looked damn fine for a old broad who's close to 70, the fact that she forgot to wear a bra which showed off her massive erect nipple kinda ruined the moment and made onlookers gag. We also can't deal with the shoes cause they make her look like she's got a dodgy club foot. Anyway we totes thought Liza brought her A game, but as always the humor crept in again cause we just can't take her seriously.

[Image via AP]

OH MANDY, WHAT'S BARRY DONE TO HIMSELF?

Barry Manilow has always had that high maintenance pedophile kinda look about him and it was no different the other day when it stepped out looking like a total freak of nature. The singer was seen running errands around Palm Springs and boy did he look odd to say the least. What we don't get is why he'd have all that plastic surgery and not get the fuck off massive Jew nose fixed? Even that ear lives in it's own zip code and those cheeks look suspiciously plump for a dude who's almost 70 years old. We think it's best when men go au naturel and this case is no different...oh and FYI Barry we know you're wearing a rug on your head.

[Image via SPLASH]

EVEN ANNIE HALL WOULD THINK IT'S A MESS

There ain't enough words to describe how much love we have for Diane Keaton cause she's totes a ledge, but someone needs to tell the poor thing that dressing like Charlie Chaplan ain't cool when you're only 5 years away from being wheelchair bound. We know this bitch will always be quirky but it really didn't work when she was papped arriving at a Miley Cyrus concert (we just lost some respect for her) with her actress buddy Sarah Paulson aka the annoying witch who goes blind from American Horror Story. Anyhow we hope Diane had a good time and her ears didn't bleed too much, but next time please don't dress like an idiot.

ALL THAT $$$ AND IT'S STILL CHEAP AS FUCK

Poor old Mariah Carey can never quite seem to get it just right in the class department cause despite having a personal fortune of almost $600 million she still looks like a $2 hooker in drag at times. MC was snapped knocking out a tune at the recent BET awards and appeared to have taken some major inspiration from Jessica Rabbit. It's kinda awkward when a cartoon wins in the sexy stakes though and the seams on this dress must've been screaming for help.

[Image via SPLASH]

THE CAST OF 'FRAGGLE ROCK' TOUCH DOWN

Poor old Liza Minnelli never really stood a chance in life with that face, but despite looking like the back end of a bus she went on to have a successful singing career (beyond us) and star in campy musicals. Now obviously having Judy Garland as your mom doesn't hurt and we're pretty sure that the poor woman would turn in her grave if could hear how this bitch knocks out a tune. To be honest a cat getting gang raped with Parkinson's disease comes to mind. Even the butters tranny Tubbs from TV show The League Of Gentleman does a better job as passing off as a chick...pretty embarrassing ennit. Do you think Liza farted too cause that airport worker looks as though she's sniffed something that's making her gag?

[Image via NPG]

THIS JUST CANNOT BE LEGEND WHITNEY!

We kinda hate the last tour Whitney Houston did before she died cause not only was it her worst vocal performance, but the woman looked horrendous. The ridiculously talented and now deceased singer was papped doing her show in London back in 2010 and you literally can't tell who it is to be honest. Where the hell did her cheekbones disappear to guys? Such a shame cause music is such shit nowadays. Just sayin.'

[Image via GETTY]

THE DIVINE MISS M HAS GOT ONE BIG RACK!

Now you just gotta love Bette Midler cause the fag hag is totes hilare, but the other day the poor bitch went swimming whilst on vacay and wore THE most unflattering bathing suit. The all round talent was seen splashing around in the ocean and according to sources even the dolphins were getting hard at the sight of her fuck off erect nips. For a bird that's almost 70 years old she is packing some serious knockers. We are totes thinking that Wind Beneath My Tits is way more appropriate after seeing this...we love you Bette!

[Image via SPLASH]

LIFE IS A BUTTERS CABARET DARLING!

Liza Minnelli has got one of those faces that just doesn't look good period. It don't matter if you slap it up with 3 inches of warpaint or go bare, it's gonna look rough as fucking shite. The legendary fag hag was snapped leaving an NYC eatery during the week and according to sources a couple paparazzi photographers screamed and fainted in shock. Maybe if she lost the rank eyebrows, stopped with the surgery, changed that fucking dyke mullet hair and got her teeth whitened, we could be persuaded to write something nice. Surely she knows our approval means more than winning a Tony award?

[Image via FLYNET]

BEING MURDERED IS BETTER THAN THIS!

Seriously what the fuck happened here love? Angela Lansbury is the LEGENDARY fierce bitch who portrays weird talking detective Jessica Fletcher in the classic TV show Murder, She Wrote but lady weren't looking so fierce the other night. The talented OAP was papped walking the red carpet at some charity event in NYC and although bitch is nearly 90, which is why we'll ignore those fuck off wrinkles, her make-up artist clearly wanted to show her up that night. What could of been an opportunity look shit hot turned into a disaster and Angie ended up looking like a clown in drag. Who knew Mrs. Potts could've been a dude?

[Image via GETTY]

SHE WAS BORN TO MAKE Y'ALL CRINGE!

Uh huh, we're thinking the same thing as you guys. How did Britney Spears fall from grace and become such a fucking hot mess? Now that Xtina is getting her weight issues together it seems Britters has once again fallen off the diet wagon and while it ain't fat she sure as hell ain't as hot compared to her early days. The pop star was snapped rehearsing an upcoming special performance to promote the new Smurfs 2 movie which she recorded a shit song for and her outfit was tacky as fuck. Can someone please tell us why the stylist thought it would be a good idea to put her her in a bra, denim mini-skirt and white patent leather boots? This look just screams cheap hooker and lady is too old and chubby to pull it off anymore.

[Image via TMZ]

EVEN LEGENDS HAVE THEIR FUGLY DAYS

Oh dear honey what happened here? We're guessing it was a last minute grab of clothing in order to get some fags from her local offy, but these days Diana Ross never seems to make any sort of effort unless it's a red carpet event. The former Supremes member was seen leaving a drugstore in Beverly Hills wearing a tracksuit with the pants TUCKED into her Ugg boots. Even we can feel the shame for this stunning look, but she's kinda earned the right to wear what the fuck she wants even though she looks a total state most of the time.

[Image via INSIGHT]

MAYBE JOLENE WAS MORE NATURAL?

We get that the pic on the right isn't one of Dolly Parton's best angles, but you can't deny that bitch is looking fucking scary as shit these days. The country (fag) icon was snapped at an event in Dallas recently and in comparison to her younger days it looked like a walking science project. Gone are the plump cheeks and youthful glow and in their place is a nasty stretched thing with clown make-up. Don't get this shit twisted cause we LOVE us some Dolly but lady has taken it way too far.

[Image via GETTY/WENN]

WHAT'S AGE GOT TO DO WITH IT

We're not gonna lie but this STUNNING photo gave us fucking nightmares at first. In case you still can't tell it is in fact legendary icon (past-it dog) Tina Turner who was recently seen performing at a charity gala in Chicago. The singer looked somewhat stretched when she was on stage and it too looks like she's succumbed way too much to the surgeon's knife. It used to be smokin' hot and now all we see is a desperate old woman who probably plays pubs to make ends meet.

[Image via WENN]

WIRE HANGERS AIN'T HER ONLY PROBLEM

If you don't get the title of this post, you're either not educated enough or not gay enough. The legendary actress (stretching it) Faye Dunaway hasn't really been in a decent movie since her OSCAR WORTHY performance in Mommie Dearest and after seeing the above we can see why. Her famous razor sharp cheekbones have disappeared and been replaced by a rank complexion complete with horse teeth and wrinkles so deep you could drown in them. Okay, we're being a little dramatic we get it, but come the fuck on she's become a right dog. Bad times for Faye ennit.

[Image via GETTY/WIRE]

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE COKE

Worldwide vocal legend (embarrassing diva mess) Whitney Houston was pictured walking around Berlin and something seemed a tad off to us. It resembled a black tranny wearing a prosthetic mask cause she looked like a skinnier (only by a bit) version of the grandma in Big Momma's House. The bloated facial features are scary as FUCK and she's lookin' well old these days ennit. Maybe she was filming a Bo Selecta special?

[Image via REUTERS]

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER THIS?

Cher is a lady (questionable) who's without a doubt stuck her tumor sized finger up to growing old gracefully, but judging by these pics she's paying the price cause it's looking FUCKING nasty. The 94 year old fag hag was papped outside her hotel in London and onlookers (gay fans from Manchester) must have shit themselves at the sight of this face. We think she's about ready for the morgue as it pretty much resembles a corpse with a wig on. Yeah we get it she's supposedly some "legend", but it's fucking scary to stare at this bitch for too long.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]