THIS IS THE FUTURE OF LINDSAY LOHAN TOO...

Seriously WTF is going on with Tara Reid in general? Her career has been on a downward spiral since American Pie and her weight is always going up and down although more down of late. The mediocre actress was papped walking around LA the other day and the bitch looked skeletal to say the least. With the exception of the air bags in her chest she pretty much looked like a fake skeleton stolen from a high school and then put in a trashy LA outfit. We hope she gains weight before she dies and she really needs to fix the gold color of her hair too cause it's rank. Oh dear... it's pretty evident that these celebs need us in their lives.

[Image via WENN]

THE REAL LILY SURE AIN'T A PRETTY SIGHT

Lily Allen is apparently making a return to the spotlight cause for some reason she thinks she's relevant and interesting. The truth is obviously that her savings account is getting low and she wants more $$$ cause she's a fashion whore who lives beyond her means. Anyway the pop star (trying to not laugh) was snapped leaving a club the other night in London and the poor bird looked like a rough mom who needed some sleep. Also is anyone confused by the lyrics in her latest song Sheezus cause it would seem that she believes she's in the same league as some pretty big singers and it's just erm a little awkward cause she's Lily Allen?

[Image via XPOSURE]

FASHION POLICE + KELLY OSBOURNE = JOKE

Okay so we have NEVER understood why Kelly Osbourne was hired by E! in the first place to be judge on their show Fashion Police cause well just look at it for a start. The daughter of drug addict Ozzy was seen attending several shows for London Fashion Week over the weekend and although the outfit here is kinds nice by her standards, the face just goes in the opposite direction as always. The problem with Kel is that she's a chubby indie girl at heart, but for some reason she keeps trying to hide it underneath cute outfits and sophisticated shit which blatantly isn't her. When you're born into one of the trashiest families in showbiz, have a mouth like a cesspit and comfort eat through life you just shouldn't be getting paid to judge others and what they wear #truth.

[Image via GETTY]

THIS SHIT TOTES MAKES US WANNA ROAR!

Another day another flattering pic of Katy Perry without make-up for us all. The singer (if you can even call it that) was papped getting her nails did in LA this week and boy did she look rough (and slightly special needs) sans slap. When this bird is made up don't get us wrong she looks nice, but she couldn't get anymore average when she puts the make-up brush down cause this is one Plain Jane right here. On top of that everyone knows her career is fluff and let's face it she ain't ever gonna win a Grammy cause the academy ain't deaf. Anyway rant over...happy weekend!

[Image via X17]

THE SIMPSON SISTERS HAVE GONE TO SHIT

Okay so the story goes that Ashlee Simpson was always the fuglier sister of then hot Jessica Simpson, but when she decided to get her rank nose fixed she looked way better. Well that is until now of course if you've got eyes. The former singer (bitch please) was papped leaving a restaurant with a new man friend (totes a slut) and let's just say it's looked better. Maybe it's just a bad angle cause she looked like a fugly witch with a double chin. At least her new nose won't use any many Kleenex when she's sick.

[Image via GSI]

DESIGNERS WANT THIS SITTING FRONT ROW?

Is it just us or is the weight slowly creeping back onto Kelly Osbourne? It can't be easy for fat birds to keep it off forever cause food must be all they crave and we totes think those upper thighs have gotten chunkier in recent months. We gotta give her props for not being obese anymore, but the hair mixed with the paleness and the outfit makes us think of a bad tranny and we're floored that E! hire this to co-host a FASHION based TV show. Awkward that her boyfriend is more feminine than her huh?

[Image via REX]

KAREN WOULD TOTES AVOID THIS IN SCHOOL

Amanda Seyfried is kinda like the younger version of Jennifer Aniston cause let's face it, she's an average actress at best who got fucking lucky. We've never really been able to take it seriously besides her role as Karen in Mean Girls (ironic much), but the above photo of her running errands in LA shocked the hell outta us! The actress who offends the likes of Meryl Streep looked like she'd stepped off a space ship cause bitch looks liked an extra from E.T. and we don't mean that shite Katy Perry tune.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

KEL'S VERY LUCKY HER DAD IS FAMOUS...

Bless her! This thing wouldn't have had much of a chance in the fashion industry (let alone any) if her daddy wasn't Ozzy. Does anyone dare argue with us? Sorry but if you're gonna judge our appearance and what we're wearing then you better not be fucking Kelly Osbourne of all tubby people. We don't know what's going on with this fuck off beehive hair style, orange tan and double chin but this bitch ain't chic or fashionable. Such a joke that E! even thought of this to co-host Fashion Police. Can you say family connections much?

[Image via GETTY]

DOES LILO LIVE NEAR A BEE FARM PERHAPS?

Oh honey, what have you done to yourself now? On top of the fact that Lindsay Lohan has got another new (and shit) movie coming out, bitch ain't looking too hot in the newly released trailer. The actress is seen in her new flick The Canyons opposite porn star James Deen (no joke) and she literally looks like she's about 38 as opposed to 20 fucking 5. We just can't deal with the trout pout, bloated face and double chin any longer, cause this bitch needs to get outta rehab pronto and get her shit together.

[Image via IFC]

AIN'T THIS BITCH THE EPITOME OF CLASS?

The world knows the above woman simply as "tanning mom" aka Patricia Krentcil, however all we see is a tired old slapper who sucks cock to pay the lecky bill. We don't even get how this skank gets invited to events, but lady put on her best clobber (cheap shite) and worked the red carpet looking like the corpse version of Pam Anderson with the clap. Didn't she think to look in the mirror before she leaves her gaff too? Body-con dresses just don't work when you've got saggy tits and a muffin top and we gotta say that ankle tatt finishes off this look to perfection. Wouldn't you be proud if this was your mom?

[Image via GETTY]

VICKY TOTES PAID THIS TO STAND BEHIND HER

We do love a good shot of a celeb with a retard fan in awe and this one is a fucking cracker. Victoria Beckham aka Vicky B was papped at the recent Glamor Awards collecting her gong for best designer or some shit (such a joke) and the poor mong behind her wasn't quite as camera ready. To be honest if you look closely it just goes to show that obesity is becoming quite the norm amongst young girls in the UK. Don't they get that if they wanna be happy in life they need to be a size 8 and below? Oh we do love the thing on the left though, but it's pretty clear that she ain't had any...ever.

[Image via BROAD]

HOW'S YOUR "CLOTHING LINE" GOING HONEY?

Now we've never seen the big deal with this bitch cause even though she's got a nice set of pins and we'd happily give her one, it really ain't all that underneath the cake mix. Whitney Port aka the boring slut from MTV's The City was papped getting a massage in LA recently and the poor thing looked rough as fuck. Aside from her usual down-syndrome eyes, it looked like she'd had a run-in with Chris Brown and we don't even know what's going on with the tongue. Maybe if she wasn't so stupid as to turn down advice from fellow reality star Olivia Palermo she'd look a lot better.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

EXERCISE WON'T FIX THIS SHIT HONEY

Alicia Douvall is one of those gals who's famous for doing fuck all besides being a slut. The former models (yeah right) was papped running around her local park in London and it certainly doesn't photograph well these days that's for sure. The trout pout, bloated face and balloon tits just don't work when you're like 60 years old. It's kinda embarrassing to look this bad and be totally irrelevant.

[Image via ISO]

LITTLE MIX NEEDS TO GET RID OF THIS SHIT

Even though the shitty British pop group Little Mix are pure crap, we feel that may fair better if they trim the fat aka literally kick out that fat bitch Jesy Nelson. The overweight drag queen lookalike was seen grabbing a late night snack with her band mates and it looked like a pig who had raided a Max Factor counter. Honey please just lose some fucking weight, lay off the make-up (and food) and go get a real job for someone who looks like you.

[Image via SPLASH]

LISA WILL ALWAYS JUST BE A TV ACTRESS

Lisa Rinna is one of those actresses who will never migrate from TV and if she did it'd just be for a TV movie. The erm actress was papped leaving a gym in LA over the weekend and it looked like her lips had been stuck in a pool drain. On top of the trout pout her nips came out to play and were practically winking at the camera. Desperation has always been associated with this thing and we hope for her sake Days Of Our Lives doesn't get cancelled anytime soon.

[Image via FLYNET]

GERI SO HIRED THIS TO WALK PAST HER

You know you're a desperate nobody when you hire regular fatties to walk past you in the street thus making you look hotter, but we're onto you Geri Halliwell and those kinda cheap tricks just won't fly with us. The former Spice Girl was papped on the school run with her many sprogs and we gotta say it did look good seeing as it's like 50, but it reminds us that every woman could look this good if she chucked up after every meal so it's kind of a downer too. Did y'all notice that the pissed looking stranger in the great outfit is like 3 times the size of Geri?

[Image via GOFF]

OOMPA LOOMPAS HAVE MONEY TROUBLES TOO

Oh honey just no, no, no. Lindsay Lohan and her train wreck of a "mother" were papped strolling through LAX airport looking like the ugly sisters the other day and boy were they a sight. We literally cannot believe that this bitch left her house wearing such a horrendous outfit and did we forget to mention that she's become an Oompa Loompa now? The only good thing about this look is the fact that she left her fucking hair natural, but besides that the bitch looks a fucking state and don't deserve any film roles.

[Image via XPOSURE]

THIS THING AIN'T WORTHY OF OXYGEN

Perez Hilton really is the poster boy (fag) for his shitty blog cause it used to look foul and that's putting it politely. We sure as hell ain't homophobic...hello Liza is on our header cause she's an "icon", but this thing truly offends our faces. The out and proud celeb hater used to be full of acne, have rank rainbow colored hair and had a chin we could hide under. Granted he lost 50 stone so looks slightly better, but to us he'll always been an obese pizza face.

[Image via JUST JARED]

HOW DOES THIS BITCH JUDGE TALENT?

How in God's name did Amanda Holden aka the slapper with a good business brain land the gig of a judge on TV show Britain's Got Talent? The cheap whore was papped arriving at auditions recently and it looked as though the poor bitch walked out of a bad 80s time machine. The bangs and hooker outfit just solidify our theory that she's a cheap tart with zero talent herself. Just sayin'.

[Image via FLYNET]

NO ONE WANTS TO EAT YOUR PUSSY NOW

Oh honey, such a bad one for you but such a great one for us! Tara Reid aka the down and out hot mess of an "actress" was seen in LA earlier this week and boy oh boy it looked rough as fuck. For some reason and despite this lovely article we've always had a little soft spot for Tara, but when we saw this shit we knew it just couldn't fly cause the bitch literally looked like a drowned rat that'd been passed around and fucked. Have you ever noticed that some women just look used like they're vessels waiting to be filled? Go and get a blow out and lay off the partying honey.

[Image via AKM-GSI]