SHOW US YOUR JAZZ HANDS LIZA!

Life is apparently still like a cabaret for Liza Minnelli as the elderly fag hag was recently papped walking through the airport in LA and she just couldn't resist a little dance. It's a shame that she's become such a hot mess lately cause she looked more like a fucking clown with a bad hip, as opposed to the award winning gay icon that she (apparently) is to her fans. You know that her bodyguard is thinking please Liza just keep your shit together and don't show me up.

[Image via SPLASH]

WHY WOULD ANYONE WAKE YOU UP?

You're all familiar with the fact that singer (wife beater) Chris Brown likes to teach his women a lesson when they don't have his dinner ready, but surely to God no woman on earth would want this to fuck them? The dick with a temper was snapped walking around NYC the other day and he looked worse for wear to say the least in comparison to his usual self, which let's face it ain't that much better. We've always thought he resembled a ghetto hamster and we'll always hate his shitty attitude. In fact the only reason we do like him is for hitting Rihanna and no we're not endorsing domestic violence, but that bitch just fucks us off plain and simple.

[Image via XPOSURE]

BEST MAKEUP AWARD GOES TO...

Urgh skank bitch actress Paz De La Huerta aka the dirty lookin' import was looking fucking NASTY at this years Emmy Awards. To be honest, we're shocked that she paid to look like she'd been rimming a gorilla's shitbox and it's hair looked like a lesbo skunk that'd been fucked and shaved. Maybe next time you shouldn't match your lip color to your turd color sweetie.

[Image via SPLASH]

OOPS...SHE'S EATEN TOO MUCH AGAIN!

Judging by the latest photos from Britney Spears' new tour, it's pretty clear that instead of working out like a bastard she opted to stuff her face like a fat bitch and this is why you're seeing a semi-beached whale. We wish the TALENTED vocalist would get her shit together once and for all and just stop fuckin' eating. Pigs might fly before that happens though. On top of her mess of a body, stretch marks and Primark outfits, our sources claim she took a coffee/doughnut break every 30 minutes to re-energize herself. Mmm for what exactly? We know that lip-syncing must really take it's toll on the vocal cords. If however her spokesperson announces that she's up the duff in the near future then we're sincerely apologize for this post. Fat bitch.

[Image via SPLASH]

THE UNFORTUNATE SIBLING

Oh dear, it must have taken MAJOR guts to leave your house lookin' like this sweetie. Once again, Khloe Kardashian effortlessly rocks the HOT SHIT MESS look with ease. It's so convenient cause when we've no idea who's gonna be our next sizzling mess, good ole Khloe shows through for us and steps out in public. Gotta love how the fans in the pic are waiting for the "real goods" aka Kim K to walk past. That's gotta hurt but never mind Khloe, there's food waitin' for you in the limo.

[Image via Coco Perez & National Photo Group]

NAT'S MAGIC MIRROR

Okay, we don't mean to kick her while she's (or he's) down, but what the fuck does Natalie Cassidy have on? Gotta love a good 'ole bit of Sonja, but bless her she always seems to look DOG ROUGH whether she's a size 24 or 6. Anyhoo the MUNTER was spotted on her way to Weight Watchers in a floral Primark (most likely) jumpsuit and Gucci (replica) bag and she just looked SO chic! You been lookin' through them rose coloured glasses again love?

[Image via MATRIX]