OOPS...SHE'S EATEN TOO MUCH AGAIN!

Judging by the latest photos from Britney Spears' new tour, it's pretty clear that instead of working out like a bastard she opted to stuff her face like a fat bitch and this is why you're seeing a semi-beached whale. We wish the TALENTED vocalist would get her shit together once and for all and just stop fuckin' eating. Pigs might fly before that happens though. On top of her mess of a body, stretch marks and Primark outfits, our sources claim she took a coffee/doughnut break every 30 minutes to re-energize herself. Mmm for what exactly? We know that lip-syncing must really take it's toll on the vocal cords. If however her spokesperson announces that she's up the duff in the near future then we're sincerely apologize for this post. Fat bitch.

[Image via SPLASH]

JESS DA VOCAL MESS

This is a variety of "mess" that we've not yet ventured into, but once again Jessica Simpson leaves us with no choice. At least Jess only has one chin here, but the real focus (besides her now obese frame) is her AMAZING vocal ability. We've always thought of her as the hotter, poor man's version of Xtina, but why does it look/sound like she's climaxing when she "sings"...? Don't forget to note the BEAUTIFUL facial expressions she makes whilst singing (pushing out a turd) that would look more at home in a commercial for Pepto-Bismol.