EVEN PET RESCUE WOULDN'T WANT THIS

Oh dear. Tara Palmer-Tomkinson felt like reading more shit about herself, so she left her gaff and headed out for a night on the tiles. The royal (ish) hot mess was snapped leaving a club in London and it looked fucking evil to the point where the photos actually make us wanna throw up. What grosses us out the most is that fucking arm, the eyes, the teeth and the nose, but to be honest she needs a major total overhaul and she really shouldn't leave the house until it's been sorted out.

[Image via XPOSURE]

BILLION DOLLAR TRASH

If you're not familiar with Tamara Ecclestone then don't worry cause she's pretty irrelevant in the world of heiresses. Now we ain't gonna lie cause this gal clearly isn't short of a buck or two, but why does every rich bitch in the world have an Hermes bag, Rolex watch and fur coat. It's like saying every gay guy should walk around with a dick in their mouth. Anyway if you want our opinion, on this occasion her outfit screamed too much money and too little taste. We tried to ignore the jeans and shoes, but they're so fucking ugly they're giving us a headache. Honey, if you wanna look like an Arab woman gone wrong then keep dressing the way you do. Is it just us or is her forehead fucking huge too?

[Image via FLYNET]

EVEN PHOTOSHOP CAN'T SAVE THIS

Oh dear. Now we know that it's mean to hate on people purely cause they're fucking ugly, but c'mon Tori Spelling must apply her make up everyday in the mirror whilst crying. The erm heiress was doing a personal appearance at The Grove shopping mall in LA over the weekend to promote yet another shitty TV show she's starring in and she looked like a bad transvestite. We just don't understand what's wrong with her face?

[Image via SPLASH]

TOP DOG FOR TOPSHOP

There's only so much money can buy and we're pretty sure that Sir Philip Green's STUNNING daughter Chloe Green has often thought this. The heiress to the Topshop fortune (fuck load of money) was papped whilst out drinking with her friends in London and sources tell us that she actually pays them to be seen in public with her. It kinda looks like a member of the royal family cause she's very toothy and clearly can't dress for shit. On top of all that the poor bitch looked like a deer in headlights and we just love that we can see her bra (fat) through her blouse.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

BARBIE GETS DRESSED IN THE DARK

Paris Hilton seems to have been blessed with the most horrendous taste known to the celebrity world. The reality TV star (wealthy slut) was pictured walking around Aspen with her down-syndrome sister Nicky, and she looked like winter Barbie with syphilis complete with a tranny edge. We're not quite sure what she see's when she looks in the mirror, but we're gonna take a guess and say she owns a magic one that hates her. Seriously though, why did she pair that RANK coat with special needs shoes? Oh please honey, just quit being cheap and hire a decent fucking stylist.

[Image via GSI/BARCROFT]

THIS GIVES DOGS A BAD NAME

Another day, another drug-fueled party for a waste of space. Ah the wonderful life of former IT girl (coke whore) Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. The desperate fame whore was snapped leaving her drug dealer's flat in London and she looked like a hooker that had been gang raped and spat on. She really needs to get her shit together and get that mess of a nose fixed. Like we said this bitch gives dogs a bad name. Actually we take that back cause that's offensive to dogs.

[Image via XPOSURE]