DOES LILO LIVE NEAR A BEE FARM PERHAPS?

Oh honey, what have you done to yourself now? On top of the fact that Lindsay Lohan has got another new (and shit) movie coming out, bitch ain't looking too hot in the newly released trailer. The actress is seen in her new flick The Canyons opposite porn star James Deen (no joke) and she literally looks like she's about 38 as opposed to 20 fucking 5. We just can't deal with the trout pout, bloated face and double chin any longer, cause this bitch needs to get outta rehab pronto and get her shit together.

[Image via IFC]

WHEN REUNIONS GO TERRIBLY WRONG

Now we always thought that it was a mandatory rule to look shit hot when you attend a reunion, but we guess if you're Mara Wilson you either don't go or prepare yourself for the shit throwing. We won't hate on her too much cause we loved her and Amanda Thripp (on the left) in Matilda, but fuck they look like a right pair of frigid virgin losers. Even the thing in the middle ain't a looker, but Mara wins down with that fuck off mouth. Love you Mara!

[Image via MARA WILSON]

GLAMOUR MAGAZINE SHOOTS TRANNIES NOW?

Although talented as fuck Dakota Fanning isn't really the best looking thing in the tool box, but she sure as hell didn't have the right team with her on this shoot for the latest issue of Glamour magazine. We're not sure what look they were going for here, but the poor bitch ended up looking like a downs clown aka Christina Aguilera. The gold curls, drag queen slap and cankles wouldn't make us pick up the issue, so we're guessing there are some blind gals out there that would wanna look like this thing.

[Image via GLAMOUR]

EVEN CASPER WOULD JUMP AT THIS SHIT

We do love our child stars but Christina Ricci holds a special place in our heart, if we have one, cause she's not only talented, but she's managed not to do a LiLo her whole life which takes will power. Anyway in terms of it's appearance she's looked a lot better in the past and we always knew she had a fuck off massive forehead, but we never realized we could have a sleepover on it that's for sure. The blotchy complexion is telling us that she's either been scoffing on too many Twinkies or she's on the rags aka rank hormonal acne. Now we don't need to be told that we're cunts cause we already know that, but we like to keep it real and show the fans how dog rough some celebs are. Enjoy!

[Image via MATRIX]

LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER...

Can you actually blame Lindsay Lohan for the way she's turned out sometimes cause let's face it the mother ain't really much to go by is she? This is actually a vintage pic of the almost a-list again actress when she was papped clubbing it up with her mom, we repeat her mom just last year. This photo is nasty and wrong on so many levels and we just thank our lucky stars that LiLo finally saw the light and decided to go back to being a ginga bitch.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

EVEN WINFRED SANDERSON WOULD DECLINE

There's something about child stars that always turns into a big ole mess like Thora Birch pictured above. Do y'all remember how cute she was in the flick Hocus Pocus as a kid? Well now just look at it cause she's turned into a fucking goth who's addicted to food by the looks of things. Hollywood seems to really fuck this "artists" over and they either become drug addicts like LiLo or fat bitches like Xtina. Come on though Thora! Lose a few and we're sure you'll see the roles come pouring in.

[Image via DISNEY/SPLASH]

DOES SHE THINK SHE'S FROM HACKNEY?

Miley Cyrus seems to be very confused lately as she's dressing like she's London trash from Hackney's east end, as opposed to the Ozark skank from hickville that she's so ashamed to actually be. The singer (if auto-tune counts) was papped strolling around LA on a shopping spree and it just looked a fucking state. We know it's young so she's trying out different styles and shit, but have you ever seen such a lame ass try hard in your life? Get your cowboy boots out of your closet Miley and embrace your southern (incestuous) background.

[Inage via X17]

LIZZIE MCGUIRE'S PILED IT ON

Like we've always said, time and having kids is a bitch to the female form. Hilary Duff recently shat out her kid and was papped leaving the gym (believe it or not) the other day in LA. Now we know that she's clearly got about 200 pounds more to lose, but she still looks solid as a fucking rock. Is she serious about her career or not cause good ole Vicky B was back to a size zero an hour after labor?

[Image via XPOSURE]

LILO IS LOOKING SHIT HOT

Ooo fuck us hard. Lindsay Lohan showed up at the Washington Correspondents' Association Dinner recently and looked fucking amaze balls! We're so happy this bitch has ditched the trashy blonde locks and traded them in for her natural ginga roots. Whoever is telling her that she needs to actually take a shower before events needs a raise too. Keep it up LiLo!

[Image via GETTY]

DEFINITELY A PRODUCT OF DINA

The media (and us) give Lindsay Lohan a hard time, but let's face with Dina Lohan as a mom you're pretty much fucked from the start. We came across this vintage oldie of LiLo as a child and upon closer inspection we realized that she had a french manicure. The words classy, respectable and age appropriate definitely spring to mind, but to be honest we're not that surprised...just look at the mother.

[Image via WIRE]

MISS TRUNCHBULL COULD BE IT'S MOM

Do you all remember the cutie (above left) from Matilda and Mrs. Doubtfire? If you don't then you're just weird, but if you do then you'll have already hurled over the pic on the right. Yuh huh, that is what the poor fucker's turned into. Child actress Mara Wilson is now a proud college student and she looks like a lesbian who's more into nature than dick. We wonder if she regrets quitting her career to be normal? We sure as hell would have regrets cause her life could have been SO fun and full of court cases and drug charges like Lindsay. Whatever happens we just hope that she gets those teeth fixed if she does ever decide to return to acting.

[Image via TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX/FACEBOOK]