HIS LOOKS SURE AIN'T GOT THE X FACTOR

Simon Cowell has definitely got a nasty tongue on him and we're pretty sure that if he saw this shit even he wouldn't be able to hold back the criticism cause he looked a fucking mess. The music mogul stepped out in LA recently and looked like a bloated whale covered in fake tan. Maybe he's had some help from the surgeon's table seeing as he's suffering from a little facial swelling? Whatever it is, we just think he needs to come out the closet and soon.

[Image via SPLASH]

TIME FOR AN ALLOWANCE INCREASE?

If you've never seen it, this is the sight of a tired hooker. The "talented" Terri Seymour who was Simon Cowell's glorified escort for years was snapped walking around LA running errands and it sure looked DOG rough. The bitch looked like a fucked off vampire in need of a blood hit and can you believe this thing is 37. Maybe it's time to ask Simon for a bit more cash so you can get some work done love?

[Image via INF]