ERM SO WAS KRIS THE HUSBAND OR THE WIFE?

Bruce Jenner has literally become a middle aged dyke or that's what he's looking like these days. The former husband of new money trash reality star Kris Jenner (mom of slut Kim K) was snapped leaving a plastic surgeon's office in Beverly Hills the other day after having his Adam's Apple shaved down...er what the fuck though right? We're not sure if it wants to be a chick cause we can spy some titties growing under his shirt there, but whatever anyway it's just creepy and we don't know what he is at all.

[Image via SPLASH]

PREGNANCY SURE AIN'T MAKING IT GLOW

If you've been keeping your fingers on the Kim Kardashian radar lately you'll notice that it ain't looking too good whilst preggers. The reality TV slapper was seen around LA eating in the streets and pulling several retarded facial expressions. We wonder if the reason behind her appearance is that she did a sick burp and some oatmeal came up, because yes even food doesn't wanna be near a Kardashian people.

[Image via X17]

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE MAKE-UP LADIES

All you girls (and trannies) know that make-up is probably the most powerful tool when it comes to making yourself look shit hot and this has been PERFECTLY proved by reality TV star (slut with a pushy mom) Kim Kardashian. The overexposed tramp was snapped arriving at the airport in London looking worse for wear in comparison to her usual preened to fuck red carpet appearances. Now it ain't ugly by a long shot but the panda eyes, spotty skin and cross-eyed look just ain't working for us, thus proving that Kim is normal after all. We'd like to highlight the fact that "thus" is the smartest word we've ever used on The Sizzling Mess, so we've moved up a notch on the class scale.

[Image via INF]

WE'D PUT MONEY AND CUM ON THIS SHIT

The world often wonders what Kim Kardashian would stop at in order to get press, but we think that even she'd go for the above if it secured the right amount of column inches. Oh and let's not forget the right amount of dollars for that CLASSY mother Kris Jenner. To be honest, we think it shows Kimmy in a perfectly honest light cause she is a whore that gets her pussy out for fame, so why not continue cashing in on this example? We're just wondering if we should of made the cock black seeing as she's fucking Kanye now? Come to think this is her we're talking about and we wouldn't be surprised if she had a couple more guys on the go.

[Image via WIRE/THE SIZZLING MESS]

THIS BITCH SMELLS OF SEX

We just had to post this snap of Kim Kardashian cause the team at The Sizzling Mess actually got boners from looking at it. What is it about about the reality TV star (slut who knows how to make a buck) that always looks so cock ready? Like we've said before sometimes we throw these "stars" a bone and do a nice post and we just couldn't resist on this occasion. We know good ole Kimmy would endorse adult diapers if the amount was right, we know every woman (including the mother) is both fame and money hungry, but it looks like being a dirty whore definitely pays the bills.

[Image via FLYNET]

WEDDING DRESSES TO CHOW MEIN

Wow, isn't bridal wear designer (glorified Chinese take-out owner) Vera Wang just the picture of health? The walking corpse's skeleton could be heard clicking as she walked around NYC with fellow media whore Kim Kardashian. We always thought Vera was a lady boy, but that erect cipple (Chinese nipple) may prove to us that it is in fact a woman (dog). To be honest the only thing we have to say about her is that she really is a fucking MUNTER of a being. At least it finally looks like good ole Vicky B has got some competition as to who can live off drip food the longest.

[Image via RAMEY PIX/COCO PEREZ]

MUTTON DRESSED AS MUTTON

We secretly hoped that Kim Kardashian was gonna wear some mess of a wedding gown by Skechers but this shits a whole lot better! Just leave it to SHIT HOT fess (fucking mess) Lindsay Lohan to show up to your wedding a half an hour before her shift starts on Hollywood Boulevard. For those of you who aren't well-versed in the world of Lohan, that isn't her sister or colleague next to her - it's her BEYOND classy mom (manager) Dina Lohan. Doesn't saying Dina over and over just sound like pure class in itself? These two look like a pair of fuckin' has-been hookers and Lindsay what the FUCK is up with your bloated porn star pig face?

[Image via SPLASH]

NEW GENERATION WORKOUT

Over at The Sizzling Mess we struggled to watch this clip from South Park without pissing ourselves with laughter, but what we really can't believe is that they actually exist for regular people (sluts in need of hand job practice) to purchase! We're not sure if the real version actually releases a "cool down spray" upon workout completion, but if it does we're hoping it's water! Maybe this will be the next product that Kim Karadashian lends her name to?

UNDERNEATH IT ALL

We had to do a MAJOR double take when looking at these photos of reality TV star (slut with herpes) Kim Kardashian. The girl certainly doesn't have her signature sparkle minus the 12 inches of slap, but she looks like she's ready to audition for a part in The Hobbit. We really are growing tired of this businesswoman (double penetration whore) who lends her name to anything from Skechers to Tena Lady. C'mon Kim just release your second sex tape already, we know you've actually got TALENT when it comes to being on your knees for 8 hours.

[Images via WENN & BARCROFT]