EVEN DANCING DOESN'T IMPROVE THIS...

Kirstie Alley was once part of Hollywood's elite and commanded a salary that would raise eyebrows, but all she's making headlines for these days is her fat ass. The actress was seen eating alone (what she does best) in LA recently and certainly looked worse for wear as she mopped up the remainder of her food with bread. The hair, body and skin are just rank and even though bitch can look uber good when she'd scrubbed up, this appearance will be going down in her top 5 worst.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

SHE'LL ALWAYS BE A FAT ACTRESS

Can you all believe that this is in fact Kirstie Alley? We had to do a double take at first cause we didn't actually believe that she'd let herself go again, but hey pigs can fly right? Pun intended of course. The actress who may as well live at a drive-thru was seen driving around LA over the weekend in search of her next meal, but not only did it look like whale, it looked fucking scary to say the least. The good news is that she's not yet bed bound by her weight issues, but we hope Kirstie can get her shit together and be the hottie we know she is underneath all that fat.

[Image via BROAD]

MOVING INTO ANIMATION?

We can exclusively reveal (cause we made it up) that Kirstie Alley is in negotiations to lend her voice (not body) in the new movie adaptation of popular Facebook game Farm Ville. The actress (walking heart attack) has recently seen a rise in her popularity thanks to it's stint on Dancing With The Stars and according to sources she's so desperate for work she's even offered to voice the role of the pig. We've gotta say we love a fatty that can poke fun at themselves so we can't wait to see this shit.

[Image via FARM VILLE/OPRAH]

LOOK WHO'S EATING STILL

Oh dear, Kirstie! This pic just makes us sad cause after around 500 failed attempts to lose weight (that's gotta leave some stretch marks), Kirstie Alley is still fucking morbidly obese. The attractive fatty was seen at the launch for Tena Lady incontinence towels (piss pads) for women who are too lazy to go to the bathroom. It brings a smile to our faces when we look at her double (endless) chin that resembles a baby's ass and let's not forget those bloated pig lips. For fucks sake love, just put down the doughnuts and get that mammoth jaw wired up fast.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

CLASSY MICHELLE

Although these photos are vintage, you gotta hand it to ultra DOG ROUGH slapper Michelle Heaton for even leaving her (council) house. Like good ole Natalie Cassidy, it don't matter whether she's Victoria Beckham or Kirstie Alley, she is just plagued with a ROUGH lookin' mug (entire body). We were even more appalled to learn that Michelle (quiver) opened a personal styling company (we're serious) back in 2009. Word is that she initially found the workload too stressful, what with juggling the company and her shifts at River Island, but apparently this was solved by cutting down her hours. Well a girls gotta pay the leccy bill somehow! She's just TOO beyond in every way for us to comment further.

[Images via MATRIX]