DOES JAMIE STILL PORK THIS?

Once upon a time Jools Oliver was the cute, sexy, girl next door wife of famous chef (binge eater) Jamie Oliver. Fast forward about 30 years and the picture isn't so pretty. The housewife (ouch) was snapped on a morning run around London the other day and let's just say it shows that she runs around after 5 kids. Her face looks kinda fucked in the above pic and the poor bitch looks worn out. Maybe her doting husband should bring her breakfast in bed and try not to polish it off whilst he walks it up the stairs.

[Image via EROTEME]

PRETTY WOMAN MY ASS

We bet the casting director for Pretty Woman will be shocked they selected Julia Roberts to play the lead role once they see this FLATTERING photo. The actress (retired housewife) was snapped whilst browsing a pharmacy in LA and let's just say the poor bitch has had FAR better days in the looks department. We've not seen much of old Julia recently, but we know she's up to her eyeballs with breastfeeding and looking after twins and erm being boring in general. Get hot again and show all these crappy actresses how it's done honey.

[Image via GETTY]

LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER

We love how Kathy Hilton pretends to be so classy and old money when really she's just trailer trash from Idaho complete with a failed acting career. The housewife (former slut until marriage) was seen partying in Las Vegas with STUNNING (special needs face) daughter Nicky Hilton, and boy did she partaaay. Kathy appeared to have forgot (not put on) her bra, but didn't she know they're a legal requirement for women over 75? Especially when you're puppies (thanks to a Beverly Hills surgeon) are that mahoosive. Gotta love a mom who lives their life through their children (listen up Dina Lohan & Tina Spears), but we're sure Paris is ETERNALLY grateful that she leaked her sex tape.

[Image via TMZ]